THE ESSENCE OF LEADERSHIP.

it baffles me just how much people want to be leaders, to be in control, to own the system yet few people ever realize what leadership means. personally i happen to be passionate about this topic and i am unable to stomach bad leadership in myself and others. if i am under your leadership, just know you are under a microscope.
you see leadership goes far beyond giving orders and controlling. it is about influencing and charting people in the right direction. my best example of a true leader was Christ himself, before he asked his disciples to do anything, he showed them how, he led the way. he not only led in word but in character, and that's what leadership is about-character.
the only way to truly lead is through example, any other means is defective and inappropriate. if you cannot live by your own word and demands how then is another person supposed to be influenced by you? the truth of the matter is we remember more what people do rather than what they say.in essence people respect the leadership of character,Jesus showed us how to do it. be the first to do it then ask those under you to follow suit...it makes all the difference.
the main difference between good leadership and bad leadership is that good leadership is so well structured that the leader himself/herself is willing to follow the path they set while bad leadership is so distorted even the leader fails to fall under his/her own word. bad leaders tend to hate their own kind of leadership. do you think a controlling person would ever want to be controlled? (bad leadership right their folks)
wherever you are,whoever you are, wherever you lead, whoever you lead make sure you remember what leadership is all about. good leadership is one which even the leader is willing to fall under anything else is a distorted version. it is your example that leads, your words are just supporting characters.it is not fit to be a weak leader not in any place,you must pay the price of leadership and lead.lead by showing others the way. you think you want to lead? pay the price for leadership and you will be a true leader...

HABITS WE MUST UPROOT

So we are happily back from the whole katiba vyb. as Kenyans I am proud of the peace we kept, I wasn’t sure it was going to work… so far so good. Anyway, judging from the elections that have gone on there are a few Kenyan habits we must uproot if we are to go forward.
1. It’s not about winning but about integrity.
You see the major reason there was instability in 2007 is because the people were so fixated on winning they forgot human life. It was, ‘our man must win by all means’. For this reasons we as Kenyans created a man eat man society where there must be a loser and a winner and did I mention the winner must call the shots in this country? When you want to win so badly, you lose your mind in the process whether you win or lose, u will crack. When you are driven by integrity of choice then you are able to work best with whatever the outcome and for me I think this is what this country needs. Instead of forever crying foul or trampling each other to win, working with integrity shall surely save us.
2. Last names are just that…last names.
So what if you are a njoroge, otieno, chepkemoi, a mutiso? Is that any indication of who you are? In my world that just identifies you, period it doesn’t make you who you are. I still dream of the day this nonsense of Kikuyus this, wajaluo that, kalenjins this wakamba that will end and we can look at each other as kenyans. Honestly where has that backward way of thinking taken us in the last 47 years...er NOWHERE!!I will agree there is some tribalistic attachment to the way things were done in this country by the previous regimes of government but like mahatma Gandhi said “an eye for an eye will make India blind” so let’s stop making Kenya blind!!We must not pay back for the previous regimes.
3. Crowd mentality
With all due respect Kenyans think together, like a pack. No wonder disagreeing with someone may earn you a black eye as you are seen as a non- supporter. Look we all have our opinions, so what if we think differently? It will not make the ugali in my stomach to taste better if I side with you. We must learn to make choices for us and by us regardless what the crowd is busy engineering.
4. Sisi ni watu way of life.
This must be the most ridiculous one kabisa. People please it has to stop being about following a certain personality to following virtue and integrity. We put leaders in place not the other way around. Judgment must be based on what we think is right not this pragmatic “kama nani amesema, ata mimi nitasema” surely? We must be better decision makers. I don’t know how any better I can put that.
5. They will bring change
Who’s they? It’s you initiative to do something where you can. If you are waiting for ‘they’ to do it, wake up and smell the coffee, ‘they’ has not been doing it for many years don’t imagine they will start now. The recent referendum was one I am proud of. Regardless of the winner the fact that Kenyans turned up to vote was simply a huge indication of initiative. Better yet a larger percentage of the population actually read the constitution…at least all hope is not lost; we might get out of this rut sometime….

Disclaimer : this post was an expression of thought not a campaign for either side.

BODACIOUS BLOGGER!!!

i have just seen very good news. i have been featured on the website forcoloredgurls.com as a bodacious blogger. you can check out the interview using the link kenyankairetu - bodacious blogger.
i would love to thank all my readers for making this happen.it has truly been a blessing to write and recieve your feedback on the various issues i bring up.the journey started,it has grown and continues to reach far and wide. this would not have been posssible were it not for you.i appreciate you all.as i continue writing i hope you will continue reading and giving the valuable feedback you always do.
cheers.
KenyanKairetu.

MY ROLE MODEL...

recently i was watching the show 'sebuleni' hosted by Carol Mandi.the theme was re-invent your life. seeing as this was an informative kind of show, i had to get something from it. one of the speakers said something that struck me..."when we live comparing ourselves to the next person, we seize seeing for ourselves"
as i sat there it reminded me of something i needed to do.ever since we were young, somebody always asked us "who's your role model?" as usual i had the common array of Mandela,Mahatma Gandhi and other world leaders. it was good that i saw myself as being able to achieve that kind of impact.however i forgot that i was not them and they were not me,my impact in this world was not going to be theirs,their impact had been done, i needed to curve my own.personally, looking back i think having a role model is an element of comparison.what we want to do is have a certain character trait these people had, we don't really want to be them.they had their life and we have ours.we are all made for something,never the same thing....i will no longer want to chase the elusive dreams but rather take time to grow to be ME.
what i did was to assemble the qualities i admired in the various people i admired,i thought about them,made a choice of the realistic ones(there those i was never going to achieve e.g. being less opinionated) and i came up with my role model...
it was no longer a person i had seen, no longer about a book i had read but my new role model i decided would be 'the future me'. we all want to be better people one way or the other,be it spiritually, emotionally, physically or even mentally.considering there is only so far we can go as we are gifted differently we are the perfect role models for ourselves.there is the best person you can be,there is the talent and the gifting within you,there are dreams that inspire you ....let that keep you going.whenever i think of the future me...i see so many possibilities, i smile thinking of what could be.therein lies my strength and will to be better, knowing that i am aiming to be a better me and not a prototype of someone else.explore the possibilities of who you are and be the best 'you' that you can be.there is a God to guide your desires and your path toward your goal.drop the names and put your best as your aim.....
next time somebody asks me who's my role model I'll say "the future me,she is a strong,God-fearing woman,who dares,inspires and challenges me to move to a higher level in all areas of my life" for those who want to know how this said woman looks like you can always mail me we chat ...:-).i think of who i want to be in the next years and i work towards that,role models are a guiding light not my main lantern...

HOW TO BE A SANGUINE.

okay given the fact that am a live wire sanguine,then i guess there are some things about this temperament that i feel i need to share with the others(cholerics, melancholics and phlegmatics)
well here goes my tutorial...

1.Laugh - yes laugh, get amused by the smallest things,smile even when there is nothing to smile about or no reason to do so.yes you will look a bit nuts but ...a sanguine never minds what the next person is thinking.amusement is actually my most dominant mood,small things really do amuse me,some people tend to think am missing a few nuts,oh well,at least av got something to laugh about.

2.Forgive - sanguines are naturally light hearted people,quick to anger and forgiveness.rarely do they carry on pain and hurt,they let it go.grudges have no way of improving your life so move on and let go,no bitterness held.the lord God will deal with the offender,or so we believe.

3.Life is fun - boredom is nothing but torture to a sanguine (me included)nothing kills us more than this(okay there are other things which i won't mention today) .many are the times life just aint fun living so what do we do...make life fun for ourselves...point (1) comes in again here

4.Be a kid - yes take some time to just be the goofy person you are inside,do what the child inside is wanting to do.cholerics and melancholics especially,doing something witty is really ok...no harm.at this juncture i will say am still intending to go to uhuru park for a boat ride,yeah i know what your thinking...hold it,unless you are taking me,sawa?tell me what you think later on,for now let me be free to imagine,you should try it.the world is your oyster...

5.Do what you can handle not more - sanguines are gifted and can do most things, they will willingly offer to do a task but if they stand no chance of being the best at it(for reasons best known to them)then they wont keep at it,hence they pick their battles wisely.when they cannot do something they stop,they dont keep dancing around the same spot.i really think when Moses was taking the Israelites round the same area for 40 years all sanguines quit the journey when they went round a second journey.point is,things have to go somewhere,otherwise you will wait another 40 years :-) ...

6.Dont be shy - ok fine,the guy next to you has an intimidating look...so?take your chances you may just succeed who knows,dont miss out on something because you did not try it out.fear will stop you from achieving that which could have been your ultimate goal!!i sincerely believe that i would rather regret something i did than that which i did not do...

7.Confidence - ok sanguines may at times sound obnoxious but they are the people who believe they can move mountains,they believe they are capable of anything and will jump at any opportunity.even when a sanguine is not sure of something they will tell you they can do it,they will find out later how to do it.they never confess failure in their lives.never.no wonder most sanguines are 'wajuaji',there is a positive side to it.

8.Love yourself - clearly these people are their own praise machines.believe me in a sanguine's head they are probably the best at whatever they are doing,what they are passionate about.they never miss an opportunity to pat their own backs.i will admit i usually look at my photos and think "wow am pretty".its for survival purposes,too many people will try to bring you down, no need of adding yourself to that list.

9.Love people - people are a sanguines greatest asset,we cannot do without people around us.loneliness just is not palatable.take care of those around you, they truly come in handy besides who ever survived this world alone?

10.Learn to let go - like i said before,sanguines forgive easily.on this note they don't like frustration a.k.a stress.they will either do something about it or let go of it and wait for things to easen up.personally i don't see why i should stress myself over things beyond my control,those that i can do nothing about.after my maximum input,am done.that's the one time i am actually patient people...the precious one time.

11.Dream - i will admit we usually have our heads in the clouds but hey,atleast our heads are somewhere.dream as big as you can,take yourself off the ground.build what you want in your head.let your head be the birth centre of great things to come...remember to be confident in you own dreams.however don't forget to wake up and chase your dreams...

well i do hope the lessons from a sanguine are something to ponder on,well go ahead and be a sanguine just for a little while...see how it is....your thoughts on how the experience shall be would be interesting to hear.....have a sanguine weekend wont you?
regards,KairetuSanguine.

FORGIVENESS IS NOT A RIGHT...

yes it is NOT a right!!i discovered that a few days ago while i was watching Dr.Phil just the other day.the situation was of this man who had cheated on his wife with a barmaid and he was not understanding why the wife just 'wont let go'.he dint understand why years later she still was not comfortable with him going to that bar where by the way the barmaid still worked.as i sat there i couldn't believe this man,how insensitive?what nerve he has?he was the offender,what right has he?those and many other thoughts went through my head.afterward as i was arguing this out in my head(as usual) it struck me that me, you and i are no different from that man in the show.here is why...
we make a mistake with people and ask for forgiveness.when they don't forgive, we question and wonder why they just don't give in, i mean we've said we are sorry?.on the other hand if they take too long we think they are holding a grudge and of how that won't even help them.when we ask for forgiveness we expect an immediate return, after all have we not been humble enough to even ask for it?truth is we end up asking and expecting forgiveness on our own terms,expecting and giving the forgiver standards as to how, when and what to do while forgiving us.we do it but we don't realize it.
the thing is when we are asking for forgiveness we are the offenders.whoever was offended was hurt,they were not happy,and had some negative feelings evoked.how they felt is not dictated by us,they have a right to feel the way they feel,there is no wrong or right feeling just wrong reactions.before we wonder why these people are not responding as we would like,lets remember to give them space to make the decision to be merciful,to find grace in their hearts to forgive us.let us be patient and understanding with those we seek forgiveness from because for us to ask for forgiveness we have done something.it is not your right to be forgiven but an extension of grace and mercy towards you by the person who is forgiving.
however it would not be fair to end this article without mentioning what the good book says "do not let the sun go down on your anger" and also the Lord's prayer "...forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us".point being, do not quote this piece as a defense for not forgiving because the bible is clear that we should forgive.all i am saying is when we ask for forgiveness, let us remember it is really about getting to correct something,understanding someone else and how they felt.it is about us enabling the people who hurt us to understand why we felt the way we did.it is not about you getting it,it is about you having done the right thing and asked for it as you await for a response.well,i am learning to put that in practice, even with my impatience and quickness of heart- i easily forgive so i don't usually get when someone is taking long to do so.like i said i am learning to embrace this life and its lessons....

TOLERATING THE DEAR ONES...

am addicted to reading blogs about life and recently i came across a blog of a husband who was documenting his first days of marriage.it is very interesting as i ended up with a good laugh.anyway in one of his posts the guy goes to describe how he finds it hard to tolerate some things the wife does,he asks the million dollar question that got me thinking "Why are we the least tolerant with the people that mean the most to us??..."its paradoxical...but wait...
personally speaking,the people i love most have suffered under my impatience and my apparent strictness. they probably will give you the ghost stories,especially those who have been involved with me.anyway someone once said that familiarity breeds contempt, knowing someone all too well just makes them tick you off very easily.picture this,a stranger pisses you off,you stay calm,assume he probably dint know what he was doing.on the other hand, your beloved slips the wrong word and off you go about "oh you don't care","you are just like that","i wont let you do that"...e.t.c.
truth is we think we know the people around us so well till we leave no space to just listen to them,we think we know best,we know how they are.its that kind of thought that holds us from seeing it even when it was just an honest mistake.it stops us from seeing when they are really trying.the honest apologies they give pass us by as we continue to buy into the idea that they just don't care.sometimes they make an effort but since 'we know best' we miss seeing it yet maybe had we stopped to see it the anger we feel may have relinquished.
i am a criminal of this and while it may be hard to do at times,my impatience is slowly learning to be quiet(ok i admit am usually squabbling with it on the inside,you understand how it is)while i may not willingly take an excuse,at least i wait for it.what i may still be struggling with is the pre-determined thought of "oh you don't even mean that".works of art don't happen in a day,and noble character is built one step at a time, one less mistake at a time.
so there you have it, when the person closest to you just ticks you off,take a moment to not kill them,take that two seconds to at least speak with kindness(yeah i know it is hard as rock,but points given for effort)sometimes it is not going to happen but let those times be few.remember that this is a person close to you,someone you don't want to damage forever with your intentions/thoughts/words/actions.it may be your brother,sister,better half,best friend e.t.c whoever it is,you do want to take that time.
as for me,am still a work in progress.still trying to get it right.still fighting within but all the same what matters is am on that journey.of course some things will still remain intolerable and unacceptable but a little more patience before literally killing someone i truly treasure will save me a lot of damage....
.
dear friend,take you time today...take your time.

APPRECIATION IS INVOLVEMENT.

"tell me I'll forget,show me i may remember,involve me and I'll understand"- anonymous

a group of us in church we recently discussed how things change when you involve yourself in them.the fact that you only appreciate something when you get involved in the making.before i was an usher i never knew the work that went into making a service happen but now i know.i appreciate every time i walk into the sanctuary and find things in place,i know someone spent time preparing it.
the only way to truly appreciate anything therefore is to get involved in it,for through involvement you gain understanding.when you try doing it yourself or walking someone in a journey,you too begin to see like they see, feel like they feel and hence understand them more intricately.
if someone is having a hard time appreciating something,try involving them in it,try walking them through it so that they may see like you see.someone thinks the work you do is easy,well try showing them what you do,if possible let them do it.chances are they will see just how it is for you.if they still don't see it involve them for a longer period,somethings do need time to understand.
the basic principle however is that there is hidden knowledge in involvement.there are some things that cannot be put into words hence experiencing them first hand is the only way to learn them and appreciate them.if you do not spend time involving yourself in something or at least trying to involve yourself in it,you may end up having trouble truly appreciating it.spending time on something trying to figure it out will eventually help you to figure it out.what do you want to appreciate?what do you want to understand?
have an involving day wont you....

COMMITMENT ISSUES....

i was reading the newspaper on Saturday morning and i came across something very striking.apparently people in come we stay relationship marriages are happier for the obvious reason that there is no commitment.their marriages seemed to last longer than the average church married couple.well am not about o do counseling i just want to point out a peculiar finding.
the one thing that struck me is that the couples all confessed to living in fear if the other leaving them for someone else yet it was considered the biggest advantage to them,that they can walk in or out whenever they pleased.as i read it, it occurred to me that the things that are worth working for in life,be it a job,good grades,good friends,a good lifestyle,a happy home e.t.c all those things need a level of commitment, the higher it is the better the results.if you want to know just how passionate someone is toward something,just watch their commitment towards whatever that thing is. on the other hand we as human beings forget that commitment is a price we pay,not a gift we get. to be committed to one thing, one idea, one path means to forfeit another.
yes you may do something with just a little commitment,but the truth is that thing is not really worth it.it is not something you are scared of losing,it does not mean much to you.you will not forfeit your life for it and neither will its loss affect your life in a drastic manner.it does not hold a central place in your life and hence you are able to give it that 50% commitment.
it may be a painful truth for some people to hear but it is only through commitment and dedication to a certain cause that we can achieve it.i cannot imagine what life would be like if great people like Einstein were not committed to their work,what would we have?
my two cents are these,if you truly want to take something to the next level,if you want to experience its excellence,if you want to marvel at its beauty,then commit yourself to that cause.when you are committed,failure is not something you will take kindly and hence a spirit of excellence is born...for the couples that enjoy the come we stay,i would love to ask what is better,knowing the person you live with and love can walk out any day or knowing they are there no matter what.freedom from commitment is a lighter form of captivity in a world of second best and average.it never goes far.like Tom Flores once said "A total commitment is paramount to reaching the ultimate in performance." and as Frank Lloyd Wright also said "I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unrelenting devotion to the things you want to see happen"

have a commitment filled week....

OUR STRUGGLES...

so there we have it men struggle just as much as women do.their past has damaged their reputations and women no longer trust them as much as before.they constantly try to prove themselves,that they are good and those that went before them just made mistakes.they are made to apologize for the mistakes of their forefathers yet others are punished for sins committed.the good ones struggle the most trying to redefine manhood,to give it back the honor and integrity it has lost.they try to turn back the clock and seek forgiveness for the blood they shed and lives wasted.i cannot imagine that being easy for anyone to do but i will dare say it starts with one man.you decide what you want to be remembered for,chart a new path and find direction within the word of God.be right according to his word and the rest will find its way of coming back.let not the past define your future but be the man you desire to see.the past may have determined your present but not your future.go forth with courage and be the man you desire to be....
on the other hand there are women.you too have struggles and expectations from others to fulfill. the truth is,you are never going to be everyone's best friend-live with the few enemies there are.look at yourself through the eyes ogf the most high,be right according to his will and quit waiting for people to validate you and to say you are doing the right thing.use the gifts bestowed upon you to get as far as the earth ends,for those gifts were laid within you by the most high and DID NOT make a mistake placing them in you.he had a grand plan for it,go ahead and unlock it.at the end of the day so long as you smile at the results of your life and you have done what is right,do not loose sleep over those who intend to discourage you.look forth to the future with wisdom,love and courage.

its no longer a struggle but a winning road to the destiny defined by God for the human race.how he imagined us to be.that's the road we have now....

MY STRUGGLES AS A WOMAN....

the post of struggles of a man was really good,i thought i would shed some light on the flip side,thereafter i will combine the two and see where both men and women can begin winning instead of struggling.hopefully i shall speak for a good number of women out there...
---------
as a woman i struggle ...
i struggle to speak for i was socialized to be meek,quiet end silent
when i spoke of my dissatisfaction i was called disrespectful
i was seen to disobey 'my place as a woman'
yet on the other hand they blamed me for my silence
said it was the reason i had my troubles
said i should have stood up for myself
they left me for the dead and say i caused it by being quiet,
did i really?
i struggle to speak...

as a woman i struggle...
i struggle to fit,
when i had no money,no job,...just babies
they said i was a burden,a dependent
that i drained their accounts,had no value
that i could not think,
my children were told that they were foolish like me,
i was left for a more intelligent woman,an independent one...
when i came top of my class,
graduated with first class honors,
had a job that got me a guzzler
a beautiful home and maintained me
they called me 'miss independent',
said i was not fit to be a mother,a wife or a companion,
i wonder who fits?
i struggle to fit...

as a woman i struggle...
i struggle to show emotion.
they use to say,no woman,no cry,
my tears were a bother to them,
they said i was weak and incapable of strength,
they ostracized me for i could not hold them inside
when i toughened up,showed no emotion
they said i was feeling less,
i was not a woman,but a man in the making
i was not capable of consoling or being approached,
my function was no more.
what was i in society?
i struggle to feel...

as a woman i struggle to remain level headed,
to unite two warring nations
i know i am capable of getting through the 'glass ceiling'
but whenever i show capability
i am accused of wanting too much
being too daring,taking a man's space
when i relax and no longer chase my dreams
i automatically become the boring wife
who is left for the more ambitious secretary
seemingly she is more interesting
her ambitions make her good company
wasn't i like that till you killed my dreams?
i struggle to define my boundaries.

as a woman i struggle...
i struggle with the expectations,
they want me to hold a full time job
assist them to provide
yet they expect me to maintain a home by myself
if i employ a helper,then i must be lazy
if i ask for help,"what kind of a woman are you?"
is the question i receive
i struggle to meet all their needs
for i have been threatened time and time again
that i would be left for a more able woman
i struggle to meet your expectations.


i struggle to be me,
to live to my full potential,exploiting my abilities
to be the good person i truly am without fingers pointing
to be free from the chains and the unfair
double standards given to me
i struggle with many more things
but as a woman i guess i struggle most
trying to be me in a world
that does not want me to be me.
i do not want to be a traditionalist
neither do i want to subscribe to feminism,no
i just want to be a woman, a
a capable woman,...

yours truly,....

MY STRUGGLES AS A MAN...

OK,you guys know i am a lady but i found this piece by a man named Maik Kwambo to be a very eye opening piece.we struggle,as men as women,as children as saints.here is what he says of his struggles as a man....

my struggles as a man…
they keep me from self actualization and wholeness
I have an inability to communicate my emotions
I have been socialized to suppress them
the only form of communication I know is aggression
I feel silenced when frustrated, disappointed, sad or lonely
because I cannot identify what it is I am feeling
I do not know how to express it constructively
probably this is the reason I speak in slang’
because without an emotional outlet I feel like a mute person
a mute person trying to speak a foreign language

I am expected to live up to the myth..
the sex athlete myth…
to most of my peers it is not a challenge
they probably think it is a right of passage
or the natural order of the universe
sadly this is a creation of society
too many of my peers have bought into this myth
and have the seeds of their misdeeds scattered nationwide
others have succumbed to the ravages of deadly STD’s
but still…inferior are those who are not athletes in bed
for their sexuality shall always be questioned
and aspersions cast on the size of their manhood

as a man I have to struggle to be the moneybags man
the moneybags man is all so powerful…
he has money…power…influence…
resultantly his doors open up effortlessly
me…I have to put up with the everyday world
dead end jobs…internal discontent…heartbreak…
spend months trying to woo the apple of my eye for a night out on the town…and then she refuses
this struggle to prove I am as good as mister moneybags is all too time and energy consuming

I struggle to paint a positive picture of men
but all around me the ladies retort…
“I don’t need a man in my life…”
I cannot blame them for these remarks
in my world…many men have not been raised to be men
they have been raised to be males
being a man is much more than pissing standing up…
it’s about integrity…responsibility…
honesty when it’s not the easy way out
being a man is treating people like human beings…like equals…
I struggle to be a positive role model
these are my struggles as a man
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i will write a response to this soon enough...
do add a struggle if any or agree with the writer,your thoughts are appreciated,i wont suppress them

WHO'S REPORT WILL YOU BELIEVE?

just this Saturday, i attended a leadership conference in the university.there were three speakers but one thing one particular speaker said remained with me, she said,"be careful who and what you believe".i could not agree more with her and i could not help but wonder how much what we choose to believe affects us.in life many people say many things to us and tell us to do certain things. people have spoken into our lives and even predicted for us where will will go.that's perfectly normal about life.
however true that may be we need to be picky,choosy and selective about who we believe.its a tricky game of balance but we need to learn it sooner rather than later.people will come to you with all manner of intentions, ideas, thoughts, direction, judgment, criticism, praise....you name it, they have it ready for you.sometimes the things that are said to us are so many and we wonder who and what to believe.it is not an easy question to answer as we try to separate the truth from fiction,the plain talk and concrete reality.
with all the voices around you, pick the ones that seek to build you, to make you grow (this includes positive criticism by the way).as for the rest filter them out because the value they add to your life may not mean much.we need not accommodate or tolerate words that do not add value in our live neither the people that insist on saying them.we need to reach a point where we seek to grow, to become better and we decide to pick the things that will allow us to get there.life is about adding value to what we already have,otherwise why would we go to school,go to work,start businesses? we are constantly on a quest to better our lives.before you let something get to your mind,asses it and make sure it adds value to your life.if it is negative,asses the truth behind it and if there is any,seek to change it but at no cost should you believe the report of those who add no value.
choose carefully who and what you believe for it is these things that shape your life.....

cheers and have a great week...

THE ONLY CONSTANT...

...is change.today i was meant to write a different note but i was distracted by the new changes that have been made at blogger.com.(am sure you have noticed the changed background)as i was writing today's post a pop up came up encouraging me to take a look and give it a try.i was a bit edgy about it because the first design was personal to me,black is my one of my favorite colors and i had personalized the settings to suit me and my presumed readers.
as i tried out the new settings i found they did not really fit right,i could not find a good black background and the templates did not really fascinate me.i resolved to go back to my old settings but i was horrified to discover they were gone;by activating the new ones,the old ones were deleted.i guess that's how we all feel when something is changing in our lives,we feel like we want to hold on to the old even though the new holds promise for us.we are afraid of venturing into the new world feeling that we are already accustomed to the world we held.we feel like a part of us is going away when we take on the new since we had adjusted ourselves to the old.we want to run back to the former as the new is uncomfortable for us,we are not sure of it.all that is just a part of changing,its a normal process.
after discovering i could not go back to the old settings i decided to make due with what i had,i scrolled through the templates still feeling uneasy.i found a background that was a bookcase and i thought,wow this does represent me,i love reading anything in english,on the net,in books,so long as it sparks interest.(on a light note,books are a perfect gift for my birthday...)the color was also beige which i like also.though it did not fit as i wanted,i will get used to it.that's the other thing about change,it takes a process of readjustment and getting used to new things.it means stepping out of your comfort zone and charting the untouched waters.it means trusting possibility instead of wishing for the old.
i will admit getting used to things is not always easy but the longer you keep hoping for the old the more miserable the new will become,the less possibility it holds for you.take that step of faith and be willing to see what change has in store for you,who knows you may stumble upon one of the greatest things in your life.embrace change for what it is and make the best out of it,that's the policy with change.do remember that it may not always work and it may be stressful to adjust in some circumstances but positivity is of vital quality if we are ever to experience good tidings.
do take the bold step and embrace the changes that are there in your life.look for the positive which you can enjoy and let the bygones be bygones....
yours truly,

have a lovely weekend.cheers.

RELATIONSHIPS AND THE WORLD CUP FEVER.

ok i will admit this post comes a bit too late but its just that the thought struck me yesterday.i will be very honest with this and maybe in the process i will acquire some enemies,which i do not mind having in the name of honesty.anyway the world cup is finally here and it shall be a very interesting period in the relationships department.i am imagining the town looking something similar to this....
women looking for husbands have probably polished on their football knowledge found a team to support and will become faithful attendees of the games in the usual places where they hope to get a man's attention on the basis of 'we both love football'.some unfortunate men will receive warning letters at work because they left their work pending to go watch a game.a few desperate watchmen will be the lucky lot who will pry on their madams who will have been neglected for the leather ball.sadly with the current gospel that is being preached all over town;(you know the whole ignore better half and watch the game)the end of June will mark the end of some relationships,beginning of affairs,and maybe for the really badly off-the end of marriages.
i have got no problem with the game,its the irresponsible player i have beef with.for the wise men here-note i said wise,they will still have their relationships and marriages intact(maybe even better off) and will enjoy the game to the fullest.how you ask,well it is the simple concept of planning ahead with two people in mind.he realizes he's got a really hot season to watch and at the same time a wife/girlfriend to take care of.(make no mistake,if you leave her out of the equation,the geeky guy Tom/njoroge/peter will have a field day entertaining her while you neglect her,and resisting will not be very easy you know).so a wise guy i am assuming did this: he acknowledges he loves the game and needs to watch it and while at it not lose his beloved.he by now has created some sort of interest in better half for the game just to make sure he will be supported instead of nagged as he watches the game.he has also include better half in the season such that he does not miss out on the matches and better half does not miss out on him,he arranges his time in such a way that it is a win win situation, he will have his nights out with the boys and time with better half.June for him will be a good month,he wont miss the games and better half will not be too moody about it,in fact he has her support.who knows maybe next season she will be purchasing a plasma for him-just maybe.
i may not be in a relationship but i do have my two cents on this matter.there are two important things at hand,both must not be lost.instead of expecting better half to find something better to do(which she will and it wont be pretty) do realize that are two people in the relationship who see things differently and for it to survive you need to see the other side of the fence.woe unto you who's better half is no football fan and you have forgotten her.how this whole season turns out for your relationship will depend on how well you planned for it.before you include something big in your relationship(world cup qualifies as big) do consider the effects it will have on your relationship and plan out together how you will work around it.planning is everything in this matter,fail to plan and you plan to fail.always plan to have a win-win situation in your relationship,its much more fun that way....
for my readers i hope not to meet with your better halves as football widows,lemme meet them happily going about town ...

i wish you all a lovely world-cup season :-)

ITS THE SMALL THINGS THAT MATTER....

firstly i will apologize to my readers for missing in action for the past one and a half weeks...there was a problem with the network but i am glad to be back....
anyway am sure you have heard of this before,that it is the small things that matter,am going to say it over again hoping this time it will strike a different bone in you.over the weekend i attended the Mavuno 'fearless 2010' leadership conference,which was so much fun and a learning experience.anyway one was the key things discussed was of course the vision 'change a city,take a continent and win a world'.as you would imagine it sounds really big,even for me who is always optimistic about things.i sat there asking myself "lord how are we going to do this?and whats my role?"
at the point i saw myself as this really small girl in a big world,it looked big and i am supposed to 'win' it.never the less i smiled at the thought of that possible achievement.as i pondered on my role i was looking for something 'big' to play a part in making the vision a reality,needless to say everything did seem a little too big.that is when it struck me,for anything to be a reality small things counted...
its the seconds that pass to make the hours that we treasure,
its the parts of the automobile that make the cars we so love,
its the steps we take that eventually let us finish a journey,
its the a million breaths we take that keep us alive,
its takes every small tooth to have that beautiful smile,
its a strand of hair at a time that make a beautiful head of hair,
its a stone at a time put together that form the houses we live in,
its a combination of small crumbs that make the cakes we devour,
its a set of microchips that make the powerful computers we use,
its a complex set of microscopic nerves that enables us to feel touch,
i could go on but i think you get it,its the small things that matter.i may not know exactly what to do but i do know the small things i do count.the prayers i whisper to God on behalf of my friends,the effort i make to attend church,the time i take to participate in various activities e.t.c they may look simple but they all count.
you don't have to have much in this world to make a difference,just one thing at a time,whatever it is you can do,it matters for it is those 'little' things that make the big things.
i have my ability to write,26 letters of the alphabet,an audience to talk to and this is my starting point towards that difference,what is yours?

THE REAL GIFT...

i will make the costly confession and say i actually enjoy the finer things in life(never mind that i don't have access to them).i don't know where i got the liking but its just there.i will also say that i am comfortable with the simple life i have presently,it is pretty cool i tell you.many of us will confess to be victim to this,and maybe you like expensive things.i want to tell you the gift i love the most, the most expensive rarest gift,better than the diamond on the queen's finger,more valuable than the latest Rolls Royce,and the one gift we give least to people.i treasure DEARLY the people who have given me this gift.
the gift is simple,the gift of time and person.we all have 24 hours in day and are busy running around with errands here and there. we give money,jewelery but never ourselves.we silently tell people the money ,gifts,the errands and material things are better than us, otherwise why would we work so hard to give these gifts instead of ourselves?none of us have time,we have to look for it,for this reason this gift is the most expensive, after all isn't time money...literally?
we have to understand that the very gift of ourselves and our time is what most people desire.our presence is vital,our time...priceless.give of yourself,be there in person,sacrifice the time,be vibrantly present in the moment,give a helping hand,be the invaluable person you truly are.it doesn't matter how many coins you have in your pocket,package yourself and give of yourself, you are simply a great gift.
the jewelery may fade,the car may lose value,the clothes will go out of fashion but the memory of "you were always there for me and you never missed time for me" will never fade.it will only mean more to people as the passage of time goes on.the person i value most in my life currently is one who has always been there regardless of the hectic schedules,i turned and he was there...what wonderful memories i carry with me,how thankful i am for that gift.i want to give that gift to the people i call friends and family,the ones i truly treasure.no more easy way out for me,i will spend that time,that effort,and give of myself....

for the rest of time do GIVE MORE OF YOURSELF THAN FROM YOURSELF,you and your time are perfectly good gifts...:-)

JOY OF LIFE....

many of us walk around with this 'dead look' on our faces,the one that tells everybody life is not well with you.it may be true things are as bad as they can get but does it really have to put you to death...literally?
i am primarily a sanguine by nature and there is something about my character i wish we could adopt.i find myself being amused by the very simplest of things,the kind that to another person are just normal.to make me smile has got to be the easiest task for anyone.that quality right there keeps me going in this thing called life.i find joy in the simplest of things even when the worst has just hit.it is true i look like i don't take things seriously,but that's not the case,i prefer being positive and not killing myself early.my sister used to wonder how come i usually carry around a happy attitude,when stressed i get back to life pretty quickly.

there is no secret really,no pills,no meditation. i go through stuff just like everybody else but i have one policy...in any one day there are many things to smile about you just need to see them as worth smiling for.for the Kenyans, i had a really nasty day recently,nothing was working,i was pissed off ,tired,mad ...you name it.when evening came i was glad the misery was over.when i got to the stage the conductor said the magic words(at least for me that is) "dere wacha kufinya watu,lipisha raia fifty" believe me my day turned around right there, i went home smiling like a Cheshire cat,very happy indeed.when i got home no one could suspect the bad day i had had because that little incident turned it around.my sister could not believe those words just made my day,but they in fact did.

the point is this-life will look like you see it, no one will always be there to put a smile on your face,things won't always go your way to make you smile,you wont always be in a good mood.in life learn to search for the little things that could make you happy, the small things you can call a blessing, the tiny irrelevant things that can make you smile.when you begin to notice them and actually smile about them,when you begin to look for them in your daily life,trust me that 'dead look' you have been giving every one will go away slowly...you will begin to really like life because i believe in life...it is the small things that really count,the rest are a result of the small things...

do laugh,smile,and enjoy the small things.....

TO FIND STRENGTH....

it is true that situations have a way of literally wrecking havoc in your mind,and in most cases they do.there comes a time when we are caught up between a hard place and a rock and we just cannot do much about it even though we try.we just stand and freeze waiting for life too take its course.
the thing is when we are faced with such times we learn to look on the inside of ourselves for strength.you cannot control the world around you but you can control the world inside.in each of us there is a strength we have, a capability given to us by God,it is a strength based on character.when we discover that unique ability, we can handle anything that comes our way. we can learn to draw strength from the inside and walk through whatever life throws our way.we learn the power of the voice within us,the amazing ability of the mind.we learn to discover and decide who we want to be even within the trials we encounter.we can either be warriors or spectators of our own lives.the thing is when it happens in the mind,it happens in reality.when you free yourself and find strength in your mind somehow even in the real world the strength will come up.
funny as it may seem trials in life have taught me to trust the strength within me, to look within and find the will to stick it through,to look in the mirror and decide to choose a path of strength and courage.it is true when they say something will hurt you as deeply as you allow it to hurt you,trials will break you as much as you allow them to break you.there is an amazing strength in the mortal human,the things that human beings can endure have amazed me time and time again,you and i are no different. we can go through the good the bad and the downright ugly only if we see the capability within our very own selves.
as i disclaimer i will tell you it is not the easiest thing to do when disaster strikes and you find strength within but once you do, you are able to take it one day at a time and the trials seem to grow you more than anything else.the best part however is when you are done walking through the fire and you are amazed by your very own strength.like a brilliant singer once sang "i found my own strength....".
next time life seems nasty,brutal even...take a moment to look to heaven to show you the strength within,dont crush at the thought of trouble.learn to rise to the tough road,to walk along it for within you God placed the ability,the strength and courage to deal with whatever comes your way....

find your niche strength this week....cheers.

HUMBLING THOUGHTS....

this was a thought shared by my sister funny to realize we were thinking the same thing!!anyway here is the lesson we saw in different circumstances.....
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At times in life we just have to learn that you can do all you can do and all you know how to but still nothing comes up or nothing comes out of it.you will try your best, push your hardest, give your best shot but still...nothing. E.g

- You can eat healthy food to protect your self from diseases but you still get sick. You can drink clean water all your life but still get typhoid.

- You can go to the best schools, get A's in your academics, but still get trouble finding a good job that you can apply your skills. It can even get worse when you get called for numerous interviews and the interviewers complement you and they don’t take the bold step to employ you.

- You can be the most lovely human being but still have enemies. Believe it or not Mandela too has enemies.

- You can work hard at your business and at school but the results don’t show your hard work if anything they are the opposite

- You can be the best parent you know how to but still your kids turn out bad or you can be the best kids but still have bad parents
this is the point where you realize there is a higher power than you,whether you are christian or not. it teaches you that there is more to life than your abilities. It humbles you and reminds you that when all is said and done you are just but human. It teaches you not to judge others for they might have tried more than their level best but still they just don’t get it right; in a certain situation.it teaches you not to point fingers thinking you are the best in the market for even you have met that road block you cant help. it teaches you not to blame others for their position but to realize they are just human and uncertainties too happen to them.
when you get to that point you realize that life sometimes doesn't work out.not because you are wrong or you cant get it but because stuff just happens.its not his fault,not your fault,no one is unfair...its just life in action.for sure it will discourage you,frustrate you and bring you to your knees but the point is not to break you it is to make you.

Of course this is not to encourage mediocrity or a spirit of giving up, it is just to help us be humble, not to judge others and realize that we are only human and we do need the intervention of divine nature in this walk of life.it is for us to realize that when all is said and done we do have our moments of inequities even though we are the best there is. the spirit of humility finally finds a home in us as we begin to see that life...is just that...life...we cant understand it,fathom it, but we can adopt the very best nature to deal with it.

that right there was a reality check for me, i don't know what it was for you but this is something worth thinking about.

FOR A MOMENT...STOP...

a story is told of a young boy who's brother needed help but no one was stopping to help him. in a desperate attempt to help his brother the boy took a brick and threw it at a car.the car was shiny and new and the brick damaged the side of the car.needless to say the owner was very angry.when he stopped to see the boy so he could beat him up the boy stopped him and said "sir please i am sorry for what i did its just that my brother fell off his wheel chair and i couldn't get him up. i have tried getting people to help me lift him but no one would stop.i am sorry about your car but i really had to find a way to help him.will you please help him?"the man was in balancing tears in disbelief that he was so concerned with his own life that he did not notice the boy.
far fetched the story may be but isn't this what we do on most days? we are far too busy with this and that to notice the people around us.i do understand that life can get crazy at times with deadlines to beat,bills to pay,work to do,meetings to attend but when that is done what do we remain with?i am a culprit of yet another crime i have listed on this blog,the crime of rushing through life busy with the many problems in life.
life has a lot to offer to us but we are so concerned with those things that take away life from us we forget the things that give life. we run about our duties of the day which end up piling stress on us but we forget to spend an hour with those we love yet that hour would refresh our day.we fail to notice the distant look on our friends faces for we have neglected them for so long it is like we don't see them anymore.we are so concerned with the going ons in our own life we don't see the hurting neighbor,the injured child,the crestfallen friend,the neglected partner.all we see are the problems of today.
time is never there for either one of us,we all have 24 hours.it is up to us to make choices to stop every now and then to pay attention to the world around us,the things that beg our eyes to see and our ears to hear them.i don't know how often you should do this,but as often as possible will do well.take a little time to notice what is around you, you will be surprised at how relevant,how needed and how valuable you are to this world.the next time you feel life has gotten the better of you,put you down,drained all you energy, look for that person who needs your input,attend to them and you will be re-energized...

have a week full of stops!!

CONFUSED SOCIETY.

one of the things that i promised myself earlier on in my life is that i will never listen and pay attention to society. the reason is that there is no other confused sense of direction other than this thing called society.society tends to not know what it wants,it is never solid, it will never be satisfied and it will never have enough.if i were to start looking at people the same way society does then i would not go anywhere considering society has two codes for everything.they think a man is a man when he beats his wife and they praise a gentleman for being man enough...talk about confused.
the thing we all have to learn is that society will always have something to say,and it is never nice. we can never be right by society we will always be on the wrong side one way or the other.society will never fail to give you a brand for what you do.you read to much "bookworm or geek",you don't read "airhead",you're thin "anorexic", you're a bit thick "hog",you're independent "miss independent",you depend on people "parasite/lazy" and many more....
society has its own code of thinking and considering its a whole group no unanimous decision is ever made.i look at the prejudices i may have grown up with that damaged my view of life in more than one way.i accumulated a good amount of negative world views which i lived with for quite a while,toed the line in a sense.the reality of the matter is the prejudices hold a little truth but they cannot be depended on.people are not who they are because of gender,race, their last name,where they were born or what they do.they are intricate patterns of being that represent diversity.you look at people and see their heart,who they are and learn their being.you look at yourself in the same way, no brands on you, its just you, your heart,your desires,the fabric of your being.
sift through the words society has said and see peoplw for who they are. perfect example is according to society most women like flowers and chocolate,i am a woman but i hate chocolates and flowers are not gifts i prefer.imagine if someone bought me those for my birthday?.....
i guess this explains why i have always wanted to be unique,stand on my own,to be different and why i always hate it when someone bundles me in a category such as "you know most women","people who go to that school","people who live in that area"...for crying out loud i think i am right when i say i am a human being named Faith and not people/women/east-lander/kikuyu/.those things contribute to my identity but they don't make me who i am!!
i want to let people be individuals and see them for them.no more categories,prejudice,pre-conceived ideas.i have just freed myself from society.... :-)

free yourself and others...

DOUBLE STANDARDS.

i will admit there are many things that tick me off in regards to some human mannerisms, but this character is on the top five list,red-tape i mean.the fact that it is common does not in an way help me.
i am still yet to understand why people do this thing of telling you to do something, demanding something from you,reacting to you in a certain way yet when the same exact thing is done to them they will blow the roof top about it. to be fair i will say i have been this thoughtless a couple of times, am no angel.
most of us if not all of us have high expectations that even we ourselves fail to reach, we love to complain about how someone doesn't fit into our perfect world or the don't conform.if we are ever to achieve even the least greatness in this world we must steer clear from this.
take a little time,look at the things you demand from others,do you do them yourself?do you qualify of your own making?i am a culprit of this nature once in a while but i found something that works,before you open your mouth to tell someone something,check if you qualify,if not either you drop it or start doing it - period!!when dealing with someone get out of your box and think of them as you would have wanted them to think of you,feel the pinch in their shoe.
the greatest and most successful leadership is that which starts, it initiates, it guides, it leads,it sets a pace,it goes beforehand.it has to start from you and believe me when you tell someone to do that which even you have proven capable they will want to respond simply because you have been humble enough to do it.do you think the disciples would have refused to serve others after they had been served by the most high?Jesus was wise...very wise.when you don't do it you get resistance, either passive resistance or active resistance.
if you like someone to spend time with you,start saving time for them, if you want someone to be considerate be considerate with them, if you want to be shown love, show love....the list is endless but i think yo get my point.
the golden rule still stands "do unto other what you want done unto you".let stop this pragmatic behavior of putting harsh standards to others yet we ourselves don't have the guts to stick by them.i want to be a woman of my word, in that the same way i will judge others and the things i will expect from them will be the same things i will have. i will crucify myself with my words and be the example that i wish to see in others.chances are i will shut my mouth more often and i will be more understanding of others faults and inequities.i will end up being prudent in my choice of action.(this sounds good ....)
no longer should we tolerate that dangerous form of mediocrity(yes it it mediocre!) in ourselves.we set the bar, we set the pace, we rise to the occasion, we stand by our word, we are what we expect...

we are the standard...set a good one.

CONSUMER CULTURE...

when i heard someone mentioning the 'consumer culture' i never thought much of it until i really got to see what this person meant. you see as humans for most part we always want, i want this i want that,i wish this, i wish that...its our natural language.ask anybody what they want (i am no exception)and they won't fail to give you a drop down list.ask the same person what they are willing to give in return and they have little or no idea.
what we do is consume,consume and consume some more,at this rate we will never replenish our world and we will have nothing to show for it after a while.i wish i would want less and give more, i wish that for every one thing i want i have extra to give.the concept of good measure shaken together running over will never get old.this is a project (of the many that i have)i will mark in my life calender, i want to stop this madness the world has brought about in me, the madness that cares not for what it leaves but what it can gain,the madness that goes out to the world as a hungry child and not a giving parent, the madness that cares about me and I, the madness that depletes this planet of the true meaning of life.
i am a culprit of being a demanding person, i demand a lot from people and myself.most of the time i am conspiring how i will get a particular thing i desire.this is a culture we all have and frankly speaking it has began to drain me and make my life lose meaning.if who i am is what i get,when i do not get what becomes of me?-that is a question we all need to ask today.
when you begin to look at the world with an eye of giving, of building, of replenishing then life will truly begin to make sense,days will start to seem shorter, more exiting,you will become busy and much happier.people will respond to you in a much different way because you will finally make a true difference in this thing called life.
next time you feel like 'consuming' look at how much better it is to just give.as always it is not the easiest thing to do but it sure is a good feeling to have.begin to save more often than you spend, begin to conspire to give more of yourself,begin to take things to a different level,begin to have bigger eyes than those that only see you.start figuring out how not to consume so much from the environment around you and the people around you too!

do have a consumer free week wont you....

THE BEND AFTER THE U-TURN....

I am finding it surprisingly interesting documenting this process of my life on the blog, kinda feels like a diary thing going on...
anyway when the whole u-turn thing began believe me i had not seen this one coming.it is the bend after the turn. so you have made the turn and are now moving then you meet this turn that we all dread, the one where you reach and begin asking yourself, will all this pay off? (it always does but we still ask anyway)when things get a bit rough and you don't get the kind of reception you were expecting,when you are trying to mend your errors and something keeps you back,when you suddenly get that urge to give up on the whole idea but you cant do it seeing how your life has changed for the better?
believe me i thought this was going to be a ball...far from it.i see it as having four stages namely 1.The euphoria moment. 2.The messy drama 3.Awesome discovery 4.Deep depth.lemme break this down for you then you will see...
1.The euphoria moment.
this must be the devil itself(for real) anyway this is the point where we have just began the journey when we are busy plotting and scheming our plan of action and the next course.when we are full of zest and we are ready to go. when our psyche is so high up and even those around us are busy championing us to go on. our hopes are high, our ambitions clear,our faith unshakable.yes this is the euphoria we all experience when we beginning this journey. as for how long it lasts it varies with our personalities.for some its long others short.

2.The messy drama.
how we wish we could skip this one...now this is where code name drama begins.when the zest begins to fade,when people still insist on carrying that grudge against you that you have forgiven yourself for, when people don't seem to believe you(these usually are the majority),when it begins to look like work and it starts being heavy,when you simply want to drop your bags and move on back to the old ways.many of us get stuck at this bend and we fail to move on with it.it gets so rough giving up seems like a wonderful option...well don't do that,its not worth it, wait till you see the rest of it you will be glad you stuck it through.

3.The awesome discovery.
i like to see this as the hallelujah bit of this journey.very few people get here by the way. it is usually after one has struggled with the battles,tough moments,lost faith,endless bitterness,people who want to hold you back, the temptation to turn and all that characterize the second stage. it is when we have fought through that and come out successfully that we begin to experience a discovery. we begin to enjoy the journey in a more realistic manner realizing that not everyone is going to support you for it or even believe you. it is after we have experienced challenges within the turn and have learned how to deal with this(for the record prayer helps to get through the drama).it is after we have seen the mean world and faced it with strength and courage.the u-turn is no longer that much of a struggle for we have developed a thick skin,we have seen the benefits and know this is worth fighting for.

4.The deep depth.
now this is the cherry on top!!but do i say. this is the point where the u-turn begins to be like an inborn thing in you. when the youth of the moment returns and you are constantly looking for ways to get back there again, to do another turn.this is the point where you desire to improve the turn and make it sharper this time more wisely.you have become a guru, a master of your own self.you have won over your own mind and can now pursue that which you eye. you have doubled your strength and have become phenomenal even to your own self....sounds good doesn't it?sadly the number of people who get here are few and countable because they get stuck 'discovering' instead of moving.
am not promising you an easy journey though the euphoria is good,don't live there too long its too simple, too fickle,too shallow a stage to get caught up in.the messy stage will be as hard as any rock, you will be stuck between a rock and a hard place, you will want to give up but hold on, the best is yet to come.the discovery is good we get to see the errant ways of the euphoria and we move over to realistic measures,but that is not the best yet.when you get to the depth,it will be so good you will not even want to look back(even if you do its the best part and you will want to go back). my word to you is nothing good in life comes easy,for this will you will fight the hardest battle of them all- a battle against your own mind, own will and desires.fight a good fight and you will reap sweet rewards...am still on the road to the depth,just easing out of the drama bit into discovery....

cheers to all good warriors...

thank you.

now to be honest i write many things on this blog many life's lessons.to me its a record of the things that i learn in life and like to share them.it is a representation of my journey in life and the meditations of my heart.from reading it you may assume i am this very straight person but that's far from it. i am as human as the next person with no different a life. the thing is tracking my life on this blog zaps me back to reality as i read what i had once learnt.(you might be surprised to learn that the awakening thing happened to me a month after i had posted it,i guess i was just waiting for it) i make a mistake en then i read a post i had written en i quickly take it back.as i write so do i learn.to all the readers,thank you for your suport and sharing this journey that is life with me.maybe putting something in writing doues have the strength it is rumored to have ,trust me.
may you be richly blessed.
with love.

THE U- TURN...

now besides having "the awakening" moment we move to the next point of having a "U-turn".this is the point after the awakening, after all the factors have come into play,after you have seen your errant ways, your shortcomings,life's disappointments and the mess that was created.after you have accepted what is and have let it be.
it is the point where you stop blaming yourself and other people for it all and realize that all those were 'storms' in life that needed to happen.you begin to see that they were there not to punish you but to make you a better person.you begin to see that had they not happened you would not be who you are.you begin to turn back time and learn from you mistakes and those of others.
you start dropping the burdens,the attitudes,the pain,the resentment, the regret,the prejudices,the convictions and the anger you had been carrying all your life. you begin to forgive, to laugh, to celebrate,to reconcile,to give,to love,to share,to work.
you start going about your life in a different way.you see the best of it,take it and run with it. you begin to see life's events as an opportunity, an opportunity to mend your ways and get things right,an opportunity to turn back the clock.you begin to do things with the new attitude that you picked up, no longer with the tears pain or hurt.you begin to be an optimist and expect the best from yourself and others.
you begin to let go of your past,refusing it to define you and make you who you are.you begin realizing that this present day will be your past some day.how you want to look back at this time begins to determine your actions,thoughts and decisions.your present becomes your future past which you want to define you positively someday so you don't let yesterdays past ruin your tomorrows memories.you begin to live it well so that you may look back and smile at it and be thankful for what you gave,though or did.
you start taking stock of your day taking time to see how good or bad your doing and promising yourself you will do better tomorrow,you pray about it and commit yourself to it.you begin to face each morning with a zest of life that never was,a sense of purpose, direction,passion is born.each day begins to hold promise for you as you push harder to reach the reality of your awakened moment.
you begin to touch your own heart with your revelations to yourself. you begin to laugh with yourself, to look in the mirror and see a new beauty arise in you.you begin to see people as they really are. you start accepting they are human, never going to be perfect and neither are you. you begin to appreciate and accept the diversity they have and you help them mend their ways. as you impart their lives you realize your own life becomes more meaningful.
you let go of the shame, the guilt and the mud you had on your face.you accept your mistakes, forgive yourself for them, and take responsibility for them.you start walking with a new spring in your step as you have freed yourself from your own self.you realize that only by letting go will you become a better person.
you see that those who love you never mean to hurt you it is just that they are prone to mistakes.you stop punishing yourself and them for it because you realize it will only rob you of your life.you realize the value of forgiveness and the strength of love.
you begin to embrace human emotions of love, fear,pain,hurt.you realize they are real and exist in you. you stop wanting to avoid them and instead you confront them with the humanness you have. you stop judging yourself for being weak when you experience them or being too scared to confront them.you realize that they are a part of you and you have to face them,work with them instead of pushing them away. you realize strength is not in the emotionless nut in dealing with the emotions arising.
you stop letting the words "what if?" from defining and making your choices.you begin to think "what if not?". you begin to take your chances in life and take the risks that are there for you realize "what if" is a thief of all opportunities.you also realize that "what if?" is a question that will never have an answer and so you stop torturing yourself to death with it.
you begin to be a better person,full of warmth,love and faith.you start exerting yourself in the promise of a better tomorrow. you begin to be expectant of yourself, of life,of God and of others.
the thing with the U-turn is that it is a lifetime process that never ends unlike the awakening which is the occurrence of a moment.not only should we be awakened but we should move to make the U-turn.Given you may fall off the wagon a few times but with the turn you will learn from it and get back on the line.

as they say "a changed soul is the miracle of a moment, a saint is the work of a lifetime"

inspired from above with love,cheers!!

TOUGH NUT TO CRACK...

we must be responsible for our actions and take responsibility for our action if we are ever to make anything of a good leader.that must be the toughest lesson i have had to learn in my short lived life.i find myself liking the kind of people who can admit to have made a mistake and say they are sorry(it is fine for me if you want to defend yourself,though admitting your mistake is good).currently i am trying to rid this bug called irresponsibility out of my life.
we have lived to many years and blinded ourselves with irresponsibility.a joke even says "a man who smiles when he is in trouble has found someone to blame!". the minute we start taking sole resonsibility for that within our jurisdiction,then we begin to work at it to make the best out of what we have. when we sit and take responsibility we begin to correct things from where we have messed them up.we begin cultivating a nature to do that which is right, because we know that when we mess up we will have to take the full responsibility. we must be responsible for our words,our thoughts,ouractions, our families, friends,and life in general.
this has been a life changing lesson for me because the minute i started taking responsibility for some things is the minute i really started taking care of them.it is hard by th way, but if you constantly remind yourself that you are to blame and the responsibility is yours you will begin to go somewhere. when we run away from our responsibility or try share the blame we begin being stuck in the torturous world of being mediocre.
let's not take things lightly or run away from them, we will never really achieve anything if we follow that route. instead let us take stock of our lives, be responsible for ourselves and others and then we can move away from mediocrity and smallness and move into greatness in character....
have a responsible week dear readers...by the way...i have some things to take responsibility for,must start now....

RESPONSIVE HUMANS....

wow...finally i got some time to jot something down,it has really been long,....
the world responds to how we reflect ourselves to them.people may not like to hear this but it is the plain truth. the way you speak and relate to people is the way they will respond to you. of course there are those unique people who just wont budge and treat you as you have treated them.
so you wonder why guys keep walking all over you the way you do?...you must be letting them do so in one way or another. i have come to acknowledge the presence of sensors in human beings,seriously we can always spot who will do what and who we can manipulate.we can always put a pin on character.needless to say if you want people to respond to you in a certain way you must 'train' them by allowing them to treat you in that way that you prefer. you must also handle people with as much respect as you want them to accord you.don't be a kid and just want, want ,and want more...people get bored by such antiques honestly.
a common example is, you are a serial 'African timer' yet when someone gets late,you blow the roof top...get real,they are just treating you with the same disregard for your time as you have treated them with before,so sit and don't say a word.
ever wonder when someone is a nice person,everyone usually notices it?...people are just responding to the nice nature this person has portrayed to them.when people treat you in a certain way that you don't like,check first what you have done to them(be honest and don't stand on a high horse) if you find something you did,be human enough and correct it hopefully they will slowly respond to the change.as always there are those who you should really not waste your hopes on because no matter how much you try they are not going to treat you as you deserve,for these group of people it is allowed for you to be selfish and treat yourself like a king/queen.don't wait for them hoping they will change,move on with your life...they will get on with it later.
i am not advocating for rudeness or anything on those lines,am advocating for us to show each other how we want to be treated while at the same time retaining our respect for ourselves and others...

have a respectful weekend... :-)

THE AWAKENING....

this is a piece that my brother shared with me and i just could not resist sharing it with you, it is really deep got me thinking i must say...
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A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out—ENOUGH! fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your Awakening!!!!!!!!

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and in the real world there aren’t always Fairy Tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact you are not perfect and not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the things you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh, what you should wear, and where you should shop, and what you should drive, how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn it is truly in giving that we receive. And there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn just as people grow and change so it is with love…and you learn you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms…just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely…And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK….and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want…and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with her or his touch…and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve…and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn anything worth achieving is worth working for and wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time—FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn no one is punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state—the ego.

You learn negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with faith by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10 New International Version
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yep, i was definitely awakened by this piece...were you?

MY JOURNEY...YOUR JOURNEY...OUR JOURNEY...

i have been missing in action for some time now...apologies to my readers, am back now.
anyway, the one thing i love about writing this blog is that i learn from it. i get the opportunity to learn from life, share what i have learned and record it also.just the other day i was discussing something with my dearest sister,it was the topic of life being a journey. as i see it life is in itself an intricate journey of which we know not where we are going but we savor every moment of it.we are not on the same journey, we all have different paths, different destinies. no two paths are the same, we just cross paths.
i don't know what your journey is all about, but i know it has got nothing to do with walking on someone Else's path. in life instead of traveling our own road,live our own experiences we are too busy trying to outlive the next person.he has this, she did that, he bought this,she succeeded in that...e.t.c are all comments we make as we try to outdo the other person.what we never realize is that this person is on their own path and their life worked out that way for them.you may try to end up like they have but truth is,that is their luck,their path in life landed them there.as you try to get there you end up losing track of your own life and your own path.sadly you will be disappointed that their path wasn't yours and no matter how much you try you will not get to exactly where they are not because you are not good enough but because that is not your journey.
instead of trying to live like someone else to be like someone else,why don't you try to find out out how traveling your own path feels like,why don't you get out there and see the undiscovered world beyond.do not sit and be dissatisfied by your life,don't look at the next person and wonder what they have or who they are,remember they have a different path,different circumstances,different opportunities,different experiences,different desires, different ambitions and much more difference with you life.
i could never be a programmer at the age of 13 like Bill Gates but i am one now,we had different breaks in life,different paths.your path means taking a little longer to finish school,don't envy your friend who gets to finish school within two years...that's their path!!-those are just examples to get my point home.look at your own path and get to see why you are where you are and be happy with it.when you are going your way in life,others shouldn't bother you,they don't know what your journey is all about.
basically i have my journey, with my own path, i intend to travel it and discover it, i intend to live it to the full, i intend to make the best of it and celebrate it too.you have your journey,do the same with it, we all have our journey....just travel it...

DREAM MAKERS...(part2)

"i have paid for this with blood,sweat,pain and tears" is one thing a great influential woman once said.to get where she is now,that was the price she had to pay.you think its painful?expensive perhaps?...try not paying it and never discovering what asset you could have gotten...you will pay for it with your life.
every great person has a dream(its where it all starts),they build the dream, live the dream,refurnish the dream and then pass it on to others to keep it alive...it is never an easy journey.these are people who overcame remarkable challenges and fearless opposition. there were people to bog them down at any given opportunity.the road was tougher than anyone could imagine.just imagine,in exchange for a jail-term Mandela united his whole nation to be one.it took that price to get that far.do you still ask why his birthday is a worldwide celebration?
i don't know how to deliver this i an easier way but the thing is its going to be hard getting to the peak of your purpose in this life.you are going to have to fight for your place,its going to be treacherous journey but the end-the end is appreciated,fulfills many and leaves a legacy.the end is a story to be told, a life to be relived,a glow never to be forgotten.
paying i hard but if we have to achieve greatness then we will all have to pay a price at the end of the day, how much will you pay to make your dream?will you hold on to integrity as you walk the path?will you give of your life with the blood,sweat and pain you have?
hard question...they must be answered,someone must pay the hefty price at the end of the day..at some point the dream makers paid and will pay for their dreams with blood,sweat,pain,desert,anguish,despair,death,...pay the price of your dream and it will come to pass....

DREAM MAKERS....(part1)

a wise man once said that there are two people in this world 'those who dream,wake up and still keep dreaming' and 'those who dream wake up and chase their dreams'.that is not my topic of discussion today but i have two other categories,'those who dream,chase their dream, get tired at some point and stop chasing' and 'those who dream,chase their dreams,when tired they just revive their dreams'
the first category is where most of us lie,we dream, chase our dreams,force reality to come with us but when we meet challenges and our dreams go further away , we give in, give up, leave it for 'the dreamers'.we wake up and lie to ourselves that "c'mon this is reality,that isn't gonna happen" then we revert back to the annoying normal of life and complain that things never seem to happen.we begin to restrict ourselves to the 'glass ceiling' that we have set upon our own selves, the limitations we blame reality for yet we are the ones who put them there.when we get to this point where we live for the normal, life begins to slowly fade, to lose meaning, to lose flair. it is when we begin to wonder,'why am i here anyway?this points out one thing,when we were created we were meant for something great, something big,something to be a legacy.the standard trade mark on us was that of greatness.when we lose sight of our greatness we lose sight of our very own selves!!!
i don't know what you have met on your way to your dream, but you have to shake it off and keep chasing. i know people who have met jail,mockery, opposition,scorning,no finances,despair but they still chased on...Part2 describes these people....

WHO AM I?...

i guess this is the most fundamental question that most of us fumble with in life, funny thing is that some of us die without having an answer to that question or worse still having a wrong answer to that question.there is no right answer to this question but there is a wrong answer to it.i don't know what you will tell me if asked you who you are. you might tell me you are just the girl next door, the student, the class geek,a mother of two, a CEO....any of those may fit.

after that question I'll ask you a second one,.. who told you who you are?you see i have a problem with life, too many of us have lived to define ourselves through the words of someone else,what they say, what they think, what they expect...its all about 'they'.that is a load of sheer nonsense to me because it just gives us one miserable day after another.so long as you answer the question of 'who am i?' with the definition of someone else, you will never live to discover yourself, to learn the intricate pattern of you being, to explore your true and ultimate self.

it doesn't matter if you have been so far defined by other people, you can start over now. i guarantee you it will be hard to let go of the thoughts of others and their expectations but its when you do your own unique thing that people begin to really enjoy who you are.trust me this is a path i have once walked, there is nothing more fulfilling than looking in the mirror and telling yourself who you are with your own words. there is nothing better than discovering you, no better feeling than living as you have decided.its no fun being in the shadow of people but its great to light a candle for yourself.

go on , look in the mirror listen to your voice.tell yourself who you are.fly with your own wings, blaze your own path and at the end of it, it will be the greatest achievement of all time.it doesnt matter what 'they' say anymore, ....its what you say now that matters....

MAN IN THE MIRROR...

everyday we see a reflection of ourselves somewhere maybe on a mirror, on a door, on a spoon or even in a pail of water.what we see is not just the image of our faces but a reflection of the people we have created in our own minds.
should you be the person who considers yourself ugly-for sure that reflection will be undesirable (never mind that may not be true), if you see yourself as a beautiful person- the reflection is always strikingly pretty.in essence the persons that we have cheated our minds to believe we are, are the people we stare at everyday in those reflections.
people will say almost anything about us and to us but they can only manifest themselves when we cheat our minds to believe them.they become real thoughts when we cajole our minds into believing so.when we look at the reflections and see ourselves in them, it depicts how we live our live.one Napoleon Bonaparte said "all of human life is based on imagination".
i don't know what you let your mind get away with believing, i do not know how that has affected you life, i do not know how life would be like if you believed differently but i do know one thing- you can create a better life with each better thought.
think of yourself as a mighty warrior,a great writer :-) ,an influential leader,a legendary philosopher...and all other things you may want to be and you mind will start moving towards it, it will start to pursue its own creation even without being commissioned.your attitude will change, the way you think will change, the way you walk will change, who you are will be your life's greatest revolution.
think mighty,think beautiful,think big, think great,think achievement,think prosperous and all this will come with time. i believe we are all a lie away from destruction or creation.take you mind to the gym and train it on the things you want to be, meanwhile watch it transform you life.

as you think is as you are...