THE AWAKENING....

this is a piece that my brother shared with me and i just could not resist sharing it with you, it is really deep got me thinking i must say...
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A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out—ENOUGH! fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your Awakening!!!!!!!!

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and in the real world there aren’t always Fairy Tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact you are not perfect and not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the things you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh, what you should wear, and where you should shop, and what you should drive, how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn it is truly in giving that we receive. And there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn just as people grow and change so it is with love…and you learn you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms…just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely…And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK….and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want…and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with her or his touch…and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve…and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn anything worth achieving is worth working for and wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time—FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn no one is punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state—the ego.

You learn negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with faith by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10 New International Version
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yep, i was definitely awakened by this piece...were you?

MY JOURNEY...YOUR JOURNEY...OUR JOURNEY...

i have been missing in action for some time now...apologies to my readers, am back now.
anyway, the one thing i love about writing this blog is that i learn from it. i get the opportunity to learn from life, share what i have learned and record it also.just the other day i was discussing something with my dearest sister,it was the topic of life being a journey. as i see it life is in itself an intricate journey of which we know not where we are going but we savor every moment of it.we are not on the same journey, we all have different paths, different destinies. no two paths are the same, we just cross paths.
i don't know what your journey is all about, but i know it has got nothing to do with walking on someone Else's path. in life instead of traveling our own road,live our own experiences we are too busy trying to outlive the next person.he has this, she did that, he bought this,she succeeded in that...e.t.c are all comments we make as we try to outdo the other person.what we never realize is that this person is on their own path and their life worked out that way for them.you may try to end up like they have but truth is,that is their luck,their path in life landed them there.as you try to get there you end up losing track of your own life and your own path.sadly you will be disappointed that their path wasn't yours and no matter how much you try you will not get to exactly where they are not because you are not good enough but because that is not your journey.
instead of trying to live like someone else to be like someone else,why don't you try to find out out how traveling your own path feels like,why don't you get out there and see the undiscovered world beyond.do not sit and be dissatisfied by your life,don't look at the next person and wonder what they have or who they are,remember they have a different path,different circumstances,different opportunities,different experiences,different desires, different ambitions and much more difference with you life.
i could never be a programmer at the age of 13 like Bill Gates but i am one now,we had different breaks in life,different paths.your path means taking a little longer to finish school,don't envy your friend who gets to finish school within two years...that's their path!!-those are just examples to get my point home.look at your own path and get to see why you are where you are and be happy with it.when you are going your way in life,others shouldn't bother you,they don't know what your journey is all about.
basically i have my journey, with my own path, i intend to travel it and discover it, i intend to live it to the full, i intend to make the best of it and celebrate it too.you have your journey,do the same with it, we all have our journey....just travel it...

DREAM MAKERS...(part2)

"i have paid for this with blood,sweat,pain and tears" is one thing a great influential woman once said.to get where she is now,that was the price she had to pay.you think its painful?expensive perhaps?...try not paying it and never discovering what asset you could have gotten...you will pay for it with your life.
every great person has a dream(its where it all starts),they build the dream, live the dream,refurnish the dream and then pass it on to others to keep it alive...it is never an easy journey.these are people who overcame remarkable challenges and fearless opposition. there were people to bog them down at any given opportunity.the road was tougher than anyone could imagine.just imagine,in exchange for a jail-term Mandela united his whole nation to be one.it took that price to get that far.do you still ask why his birthday is a worldwide celebration?
i don't know how to deliver this i an easier way but the thing is its going to be hard getting to the peak of your purpose in this life.you are going to have to fight for your place,its going to be treacherous journey but the end-the end is appreciated,fulfills many and leaves a legacy.the end is a story to be told, a life to be relived,a glow never to be forgotten.
paying i hard but if we have to achieve greatness then we will all have to pay a price at the end of the day, how much will you pay to make your dream?will you hold on to integrity as you walk the path?will you give of your life with the blood,sweat and pain you have?
hard question...they must be answered,someone must pay the hefty price at the end of the day..at some point the dream makers paid and will pay for their dreams with blood,sweat,pain,desert,anguish,despair,death,...pay the price of your dream and it will come to pass....

DREAM MAKERS....(part1)

a wise man once said that there are two people in this world 'those who dream,wake up and still keep dreaming' and 'those who dream wake up and chase their dreams'.that is not my topic of discussion today but i have two other categories,'those who dream,chase their dream, get tired at some point and stop chasing' and 'those who dream,chase their dreams,when tired they just revive their dreams'
the first category is where most of us lie,we dream, chase our dreams,force reality to come with us but when we meet challenges and our dreams go further away , we give in, give up, leave it for 'the dreamers'.we wake up and lie to ourselves that "c'mon this is reality,that isn't gonna happen" then we revert back to the annoying normal of life and complain that things never seem to happen.we begin to restrict ourselves to the 'glass ceiling' that we have set upon our own selves, the limitations we blame reality for yet we are the ones who put them there.when we get to this point where we live for the normal, life begins to slowly fade, to lose meaning, to lose flair. it is when we begin to wonder,'why am i here anyway?this points out one thing,when we were created we were meant for something great, something big,something to be a legacy.the standard trade mark on us was that of greatness.when we lose sight of our greatness we lose sight of our very own selves!!!
i don't know what you have met on your way to your dream, but you have to shake it off and keep chasing. i know people who have met jail,mockery, opposition,scorning,no finances,despair but they still chased on...Part2 describes these people....

WHO AM I?...

i guess this is the most fundamental question that most of us fumble with in life, funny thing is that some of us die without having an answer to that question or worse still having a wrong answer to that question.there is no right answer to this question but there is a wrong answer to it.i don't know what you will tell me if asked you who you are. you might tell me you are just the girl next door, the student, the class geek,a mother of two, a CEO....any of those may fit.

after that question I'll ask you a second one,.. who told you who you are?you see i have a problem with life, too many of us have lived to define ourselves through the words of someone else,what they say, what they think, what they expect...its all about 'they'.that is a load of sheer nonsense to me because it just gives us one miserable day after another.so long as you answer the question of 'who am i?' with the definition of someone else, you will never live to discover yourself, to learn the intricate pattern of you being, to explore your true and ultimate self.

it doesn't matter if you have been so far defined by other people, you can start over now. i guarantee you it will be hard to let go of the thoughts of others and their expectations but its when you do your own unique thing that people begin to really enjoy who you are.trust me this is a path i have once walked, there is nothing more fulfilling than looking in the mirror and telling yourself who you are with your own words. there is nothing better than discovering you, no better feeling than living as you have decided.its no fun being in the shadow of people but its great to light a candle for yourself.

go on , look in the mirror listen to your voice.tell yourself who you are.fly with your own wings, blaze your own path and at the end of it, it will be the greatest achievement of all time.it doesnt matter what 'they' say anymore, ....its what you say now that matters....

MAN IN THE MIRROR...

everyday we see a reflection of ourselves somewhere maybe on a mirror, on a door, on a spoon or even in a pail of water.what we see is not just the image of our faces but a reflection of the people we have created in our own minds.
should you be the person who considers yourself ugly-for sure that reflection will be undesirable (never mind that may not be true), if you see yourself as a beautiful person- the reflection is always strikingly pretty.in essence the persons that we have cheated our minds to believe we are, are the people we stare at everyday in those reflections.
people will say almost anything about us and to us but they can only manifest themselves when we cheat our minds to believe them.they become real thoughts when we cajole our minds into believing so.when we look at the reflections and see ourselves in them, it depicts how we live our live.one Napoleon Bonaparte said "all of human life is based on imagination".
i don't know what you let your mind get away with believing, i do not know how that has affected you life, i do not know how life would be like if you believed differently but i do know one thing- you can create a better life with each better thought.
think of yourself as a mighty warrior,a great writer :-) ,an influential leader,a legendary philosopher...and all other things you may want to be and you mind will start moving towards it, it will start to pursue its own creation even without being commissioned.your attitude will change, the way you think will change, the way you walk will change, who you are will be your life's greatest revolution.
think mighty,think beautiful,think big, think great,think achievement,think prosperous and all this will come with time. i believe we are all a lie away from destruction or creation.take you mind to the gym and train it on the things you want to be, meanwhile watch it transform you life.

as you think is as you are...

FLYING FIRST CLASS LIFE....(Part 2)

part 2....

you see, just the way we keep looking for the missing 20% from other people that is the same way we treat our very own lives. i tend to think that in life we have 80% but we look at the missing 20% magnify it till it looks as big as the 80%. we spend much of life seeing that which we do not have, that which we cannot do, that which we cannot have or that which we cannot be.we always look at another persons life and wish we had something they have, it could be a spouse, a talent, a car or a physical feature(even the most weird things apply here)

the point is quite simple here, everyone is better than you and worse than you depends which side you want to look at it from(remember the analogy of the coin?).i'm human and believe me i also look at people and think "dang human...can you get more lucky than that?" but then i stop and think again "he/she is probably thinking the same exact thing about something i have that they dont have..." that right there is a consoling thought.

i have come to learn a lesson in life,that life is too damn good to waste thinking about all other negative things. we all have a choice whether to celebrate the 80% we do have or keep chasing the elusive 20% we do not have and probabaly never will have.we can live in the fantasy of thinking what life would be like if we had the 20% or choose to live up the fantastic reality of the 80% we do have.

i cheat you not life is so much better celebrating the 80% we have.the more we see it the more we appreciate it and realise just how much we have.when we look at the 80% we start living a first class life of our own, we start being a first version of ourselves, we look at ourselves with larger eyes than before. when we concentrate on the 20% we will never be as good as 'they' are and we will remain encapsulated in the mediocre thinking of being second to others.

i choose to see what i have as the absolute first rate of its version, the very best life has got to offer.who i am is also an obvious first class version and those around me are the same.whats the point of feeling second to someone when they are second to you in another way?why waste precious life counting misery coins when i can count heavy dollars?

be the best, feel the best, live the best.see yourself and what you have because its truly first class!!!


PS:-if anyone thinks your nuts for loving the 80% you have...it does not matter they will probably waste their time thinking that for a very long time...

FLYING A FIRST CLASS LIFE...(Part 1.)

many of us live less than the first class life we were meant to have mainly because we stop to look at what we do not have. Here is the extract with a greater influence from the movie “WHY DID I GET MARRIED,” by Tyler Perry. it may be about marriage but really is this not how we look at our own lives and hence become unhappy?

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“Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive, more alluring, more thoughtful, richer, have greater appeal, and you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go all over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a guy or gal looks for the missing 20%.

Let's say your girlfriend/wife is gloomy\moody by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty young thing that has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha."

Or because your girlfriend/wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt

Or because your boyfriend/husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the months/years that you have been with each other; The storms you have weathered together; The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple; the many adjustments you have made to love the other; the wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already gave.....
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thats part one for you, look out for part 2 as i take this to the level of our basic daily life ....