am addicted to reading blogs about life and recently i came across a blog of a husband who was documenting his first days of marriage.it is very interesting as i ended up with a good laugh.anyway in one of his posts the guy goes to describe how he finds it hard to tolerate some things the wife does,he asks the million dollar question that got me thinking "Why are we the least tolerant with the people that mean the most to us??..."its paradoxical...but wait...
personally speaking,the people i love most have suffered under my impatience and my apparent strictness. they probably will give you the ghost stories,especially those who have been involved with me.anyway someone once said that familiarity breeds contempt, knowing someone all too well just makes them tick you off very easily.picture this,a stranger pisses you off,you stay calm,assume he probably dint know what he was doing.on the other hand, your beloved slips the wrong word and off you go about "oh you don't care","you are just like that","i wont let you do that"...e.t.c.
truth is we think we know the people around us so well till we leave no space to just listen to them,we think we know best,we know how they are.its that kind of thought that holds us from seeing it even when it was just an honest mistake.it stops us from seeing when they are really trying.the honest apologies they give pass us by as we continue to buy into the idea that they just don't care.sometimes they make an effort but since 'we know best' we miss seeing it yet maybe had we stopped to see it the anger we feel may have relinquished.
i am a criminal of this and while it may be hard to do at times,my impatience is slowly learning to be quiet(ok i admit am usually squabbling with it on the inside,you understand how it is)while i may not willingly take an excuse,at least i wait for it.what i may still be struggling with is the pre-determined thought of "oh you don't even mean that".works of art don't happen in a day,and noble character is built one step at a time, one less mistake at a time.
so there you have it, when the person closest to you just ticks you off,take a moment to not kill them,take that two seconds to at least speak with kindness(yeah i know it is hard as rock,but points given for effort)sometimes it is not going to happen but let those times be few.remember that this is a person close to you,someone you don't want to damage forever with your intentions/thoughts/words/actions.it may be your brother,sister,better half,best friend e.t.c whoever it is,you do want to take that time.
as for me,am still a work in progress.still trying to get it right.still fighting within but all the same what matters is am on that journey.of course some things will still remain intolerable and unacceptable but a little more patience before literally killing someone i truly treasure will save me a lot of damage....
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dear friend,take you time today...take your time.
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