FORGIVENESS IS NOT A RIGHT...

yes it is NOT a right!!i discovered that a few days ago while i was watching Dr.Phil just the other day.the situation was of this man who had cheated on his wife with a barmaid and he was not understanding why the wife just 'wont let go'.he dint understand why years later she still was not comfortable with him going to that bar where by the way the barmaid still worked.as i sat there i couldn't believe this man,how insensitive?what nerve he has?he was the offender,what right has he?those and many other thoughts went through my head.afterward as i was arguing this out in my head(as usual) it struck me that me, you and i are no different from that man in the show.here is why...
we make a mistake with people and ask for forgiveness.when they don't forgive, we question and wonder why they just don't give in, i mean we've said we are sorry?.on the other hand if they take too long we think they are holding a grudge and of how that won't even help them.when we ask for forgiveness we expect an immediate return, after all have we not been humble enough to even ask for it?truth is we end up asking and expecting forgiveness on our own terms,expecting and giving the forgiver standards as to how, when and what to do while forgiving us.we do it but we don't realize it.
the thing is when we are asking for forgiveness we are the offenders.whoever was offended was hurt,they were not happy,and had some negative feelings evoked.how they felt is not dictated by us,they have a right to feel the way they feel,there is no wrong or right feeling just wrong reactions.before we wonder why these people are not responding as we would like,lets remember to give them space to make the decision to be merciful,to find grace in their hearts to forgive us.let us be patient and understanding with those we seek forgiveness from because for us to ask for forgiveness we have done something.it is not your right to be forgiven but an extension of grace and mercy towards you by the person who is forgiving.
however it would not be fair to end this article without mentioning what the good book says "do not let the sun go down on your anger" and also the Lord's prayer "...forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us".point being, do not quote this piece as a defense for not forgiving because the bible is clear that we should forgive.all i am saying is when we ask for forgiveness, let us remember it is really about getting to correct something,understanding someone else and how they felt.it is about us enabling the people who hurt us to understand why we felt the way we did.it is not about you getting it,it is about you having done the right thing and asked for it as you await for a response.well,i am learning to put that in practice, even with my impatience and quickness of heart- i easily forgive so i don't usually get when someone is taking long to do so.like i said i am learning to embrace this life and its lessons....