HABITS WE MUST UPROOT

So we are happily back from the whole katiba vyb. as Kenyans I am proud of the peace we kept, I wasn’t sure it was going to work… so far so good. Anyway, judging from the elections that have gone on there are a few Kenyan habits we must uproot if we are to go forward.
1. It’s not about winning but about integrity.
You see the major reason there was instability in 2007 is because the people were so fixated on winning they forgot human life. It was, ‘our man must win by all means’. For this reasons we as Kenyans created a man eat man society where there must be a loser and a winner and did I mention the winner must call the shots in this country? When you want to win so badly, you lose your mind in the process whether you win or lose, u will crack. When you are driven by integrity of choice then you are able to work best with whatever the outcome and for me I think this is what this country needs. Instead of forever crying foul or trampling each other to win, working with integrity shall surely save us.
2. Last names are just that…last names.
So what if you are a njoroge, otieno, chepkemoi, a mutiso? Is that any indication of who you are? In my world that just identifies you, period it doesn’t make you who you are. I still dream of the day this nonsense of Kikuyus this, wajaluo that, kalenjins this wakamba that will end and we can look at each other as kenyans. Honestly where has that backward way of thinking taken us in the last 47 years...er NOWHERE!!I will agree there is some tribalistic attachment to the way things were done in this country by the previous regimes of government but like mahatma Gandhi said “an eye for an eye will make India blind” so let’s stop making Kenya blind!!We must not pay back for the previous regimes.
3. Crowd mentality
With all due respect Kenyans think together, like a pack. No wonder disagreeing with someone may earn you a black eye as you are seen as a non- supporter. Look we all have our opinions, so what if we think differently? It will not make the ugali in my stomach to taste better if I side with you. We must learn to make choices for us and by us regardless what the crowd is busy engineering.
4. Sisi ni watu way of life.
This must be the most ridiculous one kabisa. People please it has to stop being about following a certain personality to following virtue and integrity. We put leaders in place not the other way around. Judgment must be based on what we think is right not this pragmatic “kama nani amesema, ata mimi nitasema” surely? We must be better decision makers. I don’t know how any better I can put that.
5. They will bring change
Who’s they? It’s you initiative to do something where you can. If you are waiting for ‘they’ to do it, wake up and smell the coffee, ‘they’ has not been doing it for many years don’t imagine they will start now. The recent referendum was one I am proud of. Regardless of the winner the fact that Kenyans turned up to vote was simply a huge indication of initiative. Better yet a larger percentage of the population actually read the constitution…at least all hope is not lost; we might get out of this rut sometime….

Disclaimer : this post was an expression of thought not a campaign for either side.

BODACIOUS BLOGGER!!!

i have just seen very good news. i have been featured on the website forcoloredgurls.com as a bodacious blogger. you can check out the interview using the link kenyankairetu - bodacious blogger.
i would love to thank all my readers for making this happen.it has truly been a blessing to write and recieve your feedback on the various issues i bring up.the journey started,it has grown and continues to reach far and wide. this would not have been posssible were it not for you.i appreciate you all.as i continue writing i hope you will continue reading and giving the valuable feedback you always do.
cheers.
KenyanKairetu.

MY ROLE MODEL...

recently i was watching the show 'sebuleni' hosted by Carol Mandi.the theme was re-invent your life. seeing as this was an informative kind of show, i had to get something from it. one of the speakers said something that struck me..."when we live comparing ourselves to the next person, we seize seeing for ourselves"
as i sat there it reminded me of something i needed to do.ever since we were young, somebody always asked us "who's your role model?" as usual i had the common array of Mandela,Mahatma Gandhi and other world leaders. it was good that i saw myself as being able to achieve that kind of impact.however i forgot that i was not them and they were not me,my impact in this world was not going to be theirs,their impact had been done, i needed to curve my own.personally, looking back i think having a role model is an element of comparison.what we want to do is have a certain character trait these people had, we don't really want to be them.they had their life and we have ours.we are all made for something,never the same thing....i will no longer want to chase the elusive dreams but rather take time to grow to be ME.
what i did was to assemble the qualities i admired in the various people i admired,i thought about them,made a choice of the realistic ones(there those i was never going to achieve e.g. being less opinionated) and i came up with my role model...
it was no longer a person i had seen, no longer about a book i had read but my new role model i decided would be 'the future me'. we all want to be better people one way or the other,be it spiritually, emotionally, physically or even mentally.considering there is only so far we can go as we are gifted differently we are the perfect role models for ourselves.there is the best person you can be,there is the talent and the gifting within you,there are dreams that inspire you ....let that keep you going.whenever i think of the future me...i see so many possibilities, i smile thinking of what could be.therein lies my strength and will to be better, knowing that i am aiming to be a better me and not a prototype of someone else.explore the possibilities of who you are and be the best 'you' that you can be.there is a God to guide your desires and your path toward your goal.drop the names and put your best as your aim.....
next time somebody asks me who's my role model I'll say "the future me,she is a strong,God-fearing woman,who dares,inspires and challenges me to move to a higher level in all areas of my life" for those who want to know how this said woman looks like you can always mail me we chat ...:-).i think of who i want to be in the next years and i work towards that,role models are a guiding light not my main lantern...

HOW TO BE A SANGUINE.

okay given the fact that am a live wire sanguine,then i guess there are some things about this temperament that i feel i need to share with the others(cholerics, melancholics and phlegmatics)
well here goes my tutorial...

1.Laugh - yes laugh, get amused by the smallest things,smile even when there is nothing to smile about or no reason to do so.yes you will look a bit nuts but ...a sanguine never minds what the next person is thinking.amusement is actually my most dominant mood,small things really do amuse me,some people tend to think am missing a few nuts,oh well,at least av got something to laugh about.

2.Forgive - sanguines are naturally light hearted people,quick to anger and forgiveness.rarely do they carry on pain and hurt,they let it go.grudges have no way of improving your life so move on and let go,no bitterness held.the lord God will deal with the offender,or so we believe.

3.Life is fun - boredom is nothing but torture to a sanguine (me included)nothing kills us more than this(okay there are other things which i won't mention today) .many are the times life just aint fun living so what do we do...make life fun for ourselves...point (1) comes in again here

4.Be a kid - yes take some time to just be the goofy person you are inside,do what the child inside is wanting to do.cholerics and melancholics especially,doing something witty is really ok...no harm.at this juncture i will say am still intending to go to uhuru park for a boat ride,yeah i know what your thinking...hold it,unless you are taking me,sawa?tell me what you think later on,for now let me be free to imagine,you should try it.the world is your oyster...

5.Do what you can handle not more - sanguines are gifted and can do most things, they will willingly offer to do a task but if they stand no chance of being the best at it(for reasons best known to them)then they wont keep at it,hence they pick their battles wisely.when they cannot do something they stop,they dont keep dancing around the same spot.i really think when Moses was taking the Israelites round the same area for 40 years all sanguines quit the journey when they went round a second journey.point is,things have to go somewhere,otherwise you will wait another 40 years :-) ...

6.Dont be shy - ok fine,the guy next to you has an intimidating look...so?take your chances you may just succeed who knows,dont miss out on something because you did not try it out.fear will stop you from achieving that which could have been your ultimate goal!!i sincerely believe that i would rather regret something i did than that which i did not do...

7.Confidence - ok sanguines may at times sound obnoxious but they are the people who believe they can move mountains,they believe they are capable of anything and will jump at any opportunity.even when a sanguine is not sure of something they will tell you they can do it,they will find out later how to do it.they never confess failure in their lives.never.no wonder most sanguines are 'wajuaji',there is a positive side to it.

8.Love yourself - clearly these people are their own praise machines.believe me in a sanguine's head they are probably the best at whatever they are doing,what they are passionate about.they never miss an opportunity to pat their own backs.i will admit i usually look at my photos and think "wow am pretty".its for survival purposes,too many people will try to bring you down, no need of adding yourself to that list.

9.Love people - people are a sanguines greatest asset,we cannot do without people around us.loneliness just is not palatable.take care of those around you, they truly come in handy besides who ever survived this world alone?

10.Learn to let go - like i said before,sanguines forgive easily.on this note they don't like frustration a.k.a stress.they will either do something about it or let go of it and wait for things to easen up.personally i don't see why i should stress myself over things beyond my control,those that i can do nothing about.after my maximum input,am done.that's the one time i am actually patient people...the precious one time.

11.Dream - i will admit we usually have our heads in the clouds but hey,atleast our heads are somewhere.dream as big as you can,take yourself off the ground.build what you want in your head.let your head be the birth centre of great things to come...remember to be confident in you own dreams.however don't forget to wake up and chase your dreams...

well i do hope the lessons from a sanguine are something to ponder on,well go ahead and be a sanguine just for a little while...see how it is....your thoughts on how the experience shall be would be interesting to hear.....have a sanguine weekend wont you?
regards,KairetuSanguine.

FORGIVENESS IS NOT A RIGHT...

yes it is NOT a right!!i discovered that a few days ago while i was watching Dr.Phil just the other day.the situation was of this man who had cheated on his wife with a barmaid and he was not understanding why the wife just 'wont let go'.he dint understand why years later she still was not comfortable with him going to that bar where by the way the barmaid still worked.as i sat there i couldn't believe this man,how insensitive?what nerve he has?he was the offender,what right has he?those and many other thoughts went through my head.afterward as i was arguing this out in my head(as usual) it struck me that me, you and i are no different from that man in the show.here is why...
we make a mistake with people and ask for forgiveness.when they don't forgive, we question and wonder why they just don't give in, i mean we've said we are sorry?.on the other hand if they take too long we think they are holding a grudge and of how that won't even help them.when we ask for forgiveness we expect an immediate return, after all have we not been humble enough to even ask for it?truth is we end up asking and expecting forgiveness on our own terms,expecting and giving the forgiver standards as to how, when and what to do while forgiving us.we do it but we don't realize it.
the thing is when we are asking for forgiveness we are the offenders.whoever was offended was hurt,they were not happy,and had some negative feelings evoked.how they felt is not dictated by us,they have a right to feel the way they feel,there is no wrong or right feeling just wrong reactions.before we wonder why these people are not responding as we would like,lets remember to give them space to make the decision to be merciful,to find grace in their hearts to forgive us.let us be patient and understanding with those we seek forgiveness from because for us to ask for forgiveness we have done something.it is not your right to be forgiven but an extension of grace and mercy towards you by the person who is forgiving.
however it would not be fair to end this article without mentioning what the good book says "do not let the sun go down on your anger" and also the Lord's prayer "...forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us".point being, do not quote this piece as a defense for not forgiving because the bible is clear that we should forgive.all i am saying is when we ask for forgiveness, let us remember it is really about getting to correct something,understanding someone else and how they felt.it is about us enabling the people who hurt us to understand why we felt the way we did.it is not about you getting it,it is about you having done the right thing and asked for it as you await for a response.well,i am learning to put that in practice, even with my impatience and quickness of heart- i easily forgive so i don't usually get when someone is taking long to do so.like i said i am learning to embrace this life and its lessons....

TOLERATING THE DEAR ONES...

am addicted to reading blogs about life and recently i came across a blog of a husband who was documenting his first days of marriage.it is very interesting as i ended up with a good laugh.anyway in one of his posts the guy goes to describe how he finds it hard to tolerate some things the wife does,he asks the million dollar question that got me thinking "Why are we the least tolerant with the people that mean the most to us??..."its paradoxical...but wait...
personally speaking,the people i love most have suffered under my impatience and my apparent strictness. they probably will give you the ghost stories,especially those who have been involved with me.anyway someone once said that familiarity breeds contempt, knowing someone all too well just makes them tick you off very easily.picture this,a stranger pisses you off,you stay calm,assume he probably dint know what he was doing.on the other hand, your beloved slips the wrong word and off you go about "oh you don't care","you are just like that","i wont let you do that"...e.t.c.
truth is we think we know the people around us so well till we leave no space to just listen to them,we think we know best,we know how they are.its that kind of thought that holds us from seeing it even when it was just an honest mistake.it stops us from seeing when they are really trying.the honest apologies they give pass us by as we continue to buy into the idea that they just don't care.sometimes they make an effort but since 'we know best' we miss seeing it yet maybe had we stopped to see it the anger we feel may have relinquished.
i am a criminal of this and while it may be hard to do at times,my impatience is slowly learning to be quiet(ok i admit am usually squabbling with it on the inside,you understand how it is)while i may not willingly take an excuse,at least i wait for it.what i may still be struggling with is the pre-determined thought of "oh you don't even mean that".works of art don't happen in a day,and noble character is built one step at a time, one less mistake at a time.
so there you have it, when the person closest to you just ticks you off,take a moment to not kill them,take that two seconds to at least speak with kindness(yeah i know it is hard as rock,but points given for effort)sometimes it is not going to happen but let those times be few.remember that this is a person close to you,someone you don't want to damage forever with your intentions/thoughts/words/actions.it may be your brother,sister,better half,best friend e.t.c whoever it is,you do want to take that time.
as for me,am still a work in progress.still trying to get it right.still fighting within but all the same what matters is am on that journey.of course some things will still remain intolerable and unacceptable but a little more patience before literally killing someone i truly treasure will save me a lot of damage....
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dear friend,take you time today...take your time.

APPRECIATION IS INVOLVEMENT.

"tell me I'll forget,show me i may remember,involve me and I'll understand"- anonymous

a group of us in church we recently discussed how things change when you involve yourself in them.the fact that you only appreciate something when you get involved in the making.before i was an usher i never knew the work that went into making a service happen but now i know.i appreciate every time i walk into the sanctuary and find things in place,i know someone spent time preparing it.
the only way to truly appreciate anything therefore is to get involved in it,for through involvement you gain understanding.when you try doing it yourself or walking someone in a journey,you too begin to see like they see, feel like they feel and hence understand them more intricately.
if someone is having a hard time appreciating something,try involving them in it,try walking them through it so that they may see like you see.someone thinks the work you do is easy,well try showing them what you do,if possible let them do it.chances are they will see just how it is for you.if they still don't see it involve them for a longer period,somethings do need time to understand.
the basic principle however is that there is hidden knowledge in involvement.there are some things that cannot be put into words hence experiencing them first hand is the only way to learn them and appreciate them.if you do not spend time involving yourself in something or at least trying to involve yourself in it,you may end up having trouble truly appreciating it.spending time on something trying to figure it out will eventually help you to figure it out.what do you want to appreciate?what do you want to understand?
have an involving day wont you....